The news is full of stories this week about conflict. And whether it’s conflict that gets successfully navigated, like the National Football League lockout, or it’s conflict that shows little hope of getting resolved, like in Congress, the differences between how people are approaching the conflict are being shown in stark relief.
The eventual resolution of the N.F.L. lockout demonstrates what happens when two parties come together in good faith, realize that their common interests are best served by working together, and then put their principles on the table. In reality, actual “principles” are few in number, but are the best indicators of where each party is starting from. Once both sides understand the others’ core principles, it’s fairly easy to identify places where compromise is possible, where each side can give up a little privilege, and a conflict can get resolved.
Congress is another story. We lost track a long time ago of what each Party was actually trying to establish as their core principle in the debt ceiling debate; in the end, what became apparent to most observers was that the most important thing to each side was the preservation of the privilege of getting elected again in two years. When both sides end up fighting over the same privilege without regard to principle, you get the ugly spectacle that Washington D.C. is best know for.
In your own life, you will run in to conflict–there’s no way to avoid it. That’s why it’s so important to know who you are (Chapter One), because then you know what your principles are. Once you can establish the ground that you’re willing to fight over, then it becomes easier to look for the areas of privilege that are negotiable, and over which you can come to mature resolution. And that resolution will allow you to move forward towards your Perfect Life in a timely fashion.
The Gurus of Get It
